daily kaddish: bitchy


Mira and our mutual friend Tina have a paper-grading-and-bitching party planned for tomorrow night, so by special request I have prepared a bitchy version of the Kaddish tonight and will do so again tomorrow.

Here’s how I explained it to them:

I thought I’d get a jump on tomorrow’s assignment of preparing a bitchy Kaddish for your paper-grading soundtrack. I’m having another little nose surgery tomorrow late morning, and since I have a meeting with a prospective client at 9, there’s a good chance I won’t have time to make a recording beforehand. After surgery, I have a few hours free, in which I’ll record if I’m not drugged out of my mind and/or forbidden to play, in which case, I’ll have to wait until after a series of commitments stacked up into the late evening and/or figure out a hornless, voiceless way of pulling this thing off.

The dailiness of daily ritual becomes tricky at times.

Notes on your first bitchy Kaddish:

I envisioned the despair of confronting a huge pile of papers unlikely to contain much if any good writing. I began playing with wary resignation. As I enumerated the many faults of sloppy thinking and incompetent expression, I grew angrier and more frustrated. Finally in “that THING” (Tina, this is Mira’s name for the stopped horn passage, and it has become my name for it, too) I spat out condemnation of the mush that passes for brains among students these days. Afterward, I attempted to regain some composure and made an attempt at affirmation. Students these days might be terrible writers, but they’re doing a lot better than my generation did at some other things; accepting differences on the sexual identity spectrum comes to mind. My optimism was short-lived, however, so the second part of the statement of affirmation is a tentative echo, with clams. The last notes fade out in dismay. With more clams.

About erin

Erin Vang, PMP, BMus, MMus, is Owner and Principal Pragmatist of the consultancy Global Pragmatica LLC®, offering custom JMP scripting, localization program management, and facilitative leadership services. She is also an orchestral horn player who freelances in the San Francisco Bay Area and plays assorted brass for the celebrated dance bands Midnight Smørgåsbord and contraPtion. More about Erin…
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4 Responses to daily kaddish: bitchy

  1. david says:

    “Tentative Echo, with Clams”. This is damn good. Wish I had thought of it. Perfect as the title of a poetry collection, I’m thinking. It could be the title of this blog if it didn’t have such a good title already.

  2. erin says:

    Subtitle, perhaps! I’ll take it up with Mira.

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