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essays kaddish in two-part harmony the rebbe's queer daughters

avram and the not so barren sarah — 1.1.8

It was not that Sarah was barren—it was more, perhaps, that she had had enormous difficulty holding a child to term.  And those she had lost had all been girls and were not counted by the fathers of her lineage, nor troubled over by the master of her house.  The rebbe retreated to manuscripts and […]

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essays kaddish in two-part harmony tzaddik stories

secrets of the tzaddik

He wanted it spelled ‘poppa’ not ‘papa.’  He was definitive about that, but not about much else.  I always wondered why. It seemed anachronistic, that spelling, but maybe that’s the point. He was from a different era. How could he not be?  Maybe the word  ‘poppa’ made him feel warm and fuzzy, and maybe  ‘papa’ […]

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essays kaddish in two-part harmony

abraham, sarah, and hagar, a kaddish for patterns worth shattering

The question is do we feel sorry for Abraham, or do we say goddamn it, you knew what you were getting us into? Or is there some other way to resolve the whole bit? I’ve been thinking about this for at least a thousand years, maybe two. Maybe three. The whole situation sucks. There’s this […]

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essays kaddish in two-part harmony

a kaddish for those who don’t escape

My ordeal was long ago and I’m fine. For far too many others, this story is today, this story is now, and this story is how they will die.

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essays

a kaddish for those who choose their ends

They offed themselves. Both of them, together. She’s pissed, and devastated, and who wouldn’t be? But I can’t help admiring their decision, even as I share her grief and anger.

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essays kaddish in two-part harmony

reasons for staying alive

We were signing papers. Getting them notarized. It was a jocular moment. I was trying hard to keep it that way. I was giving him complete authority to take over my affairs should my brain start to melt and/or body start to fry its circuits. For that time, in other words, when we cease to […]