daily kaddish: stumbling


After several days at Big Sur, I arrived home happy but exhausted. I’ve been losing a fight with a sinus infection, so after unloading gear, loading camping pots into the dishwasher, and starting a bunch of loads of laundry, I collapsed in a heap and napped for an hour and a half. I woke up after that with barely enough energy to eat dinner and watch the beginning of a movie, but I managed to force myself to fold the laundry to the end of the movie, and then I tackled a two-month backlog of ironing.

Now I’m ready for bed, but first I have a kaddish to make. So I fire up Amadeus Pro, open the kaddish text document (you’d think by now I’d have it memorized, but no—I don’t), and do as basic a reading as you can imagine. Except it doesn’t turn out that way. I get to a point where I often stumble, and this time I stumbled and tumbled and got so tangled up I had to back up to the top of the section and try again.

The “only one take, no matter what” rule is bad enough on horn, where I have to let go of clams and splatters, but when I’m taking a huge shortcut and just reading it, and I <i>still</i> want to start over again?


About erin

Erin Vang, PMP, BMus, MMus, is Owner and Principal Pragmatist of the consultancy Global Pragmatica LLC®, offering custom JMP scripting, localization program management, and facilitative leadership services. She is also an orchestral horn player who freelances in the San Francisco Bay Area and plays assorted brass for the celebrated dance bands Midnight Smørgåsbord and contraPtion. More about Erin…
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