[powerpress]
I’m feeling a little ragged tonight. I was up all night last night, filling out divorce paperwork and gathering printouts in duplicate of everything imaginable to do with our finances of the last three years in preparation for our second and we hope final meeting with a mediator tomorrow morning.
Once that was done, I turned to some urgent work for a client for the next five hours. Then I drove my bundle of paperwork to the mediator’s office. Afterward, Kjersti and I deserved a break, so we hit Buchanan Beach for an hour of fun with sand, waves, tennis balls, and basic obedience practice. Upon our return home, I worked on making a cabinet for the cats’ litter box, so that Kjersti still can’t eat the Kitty Roca but I can stop clambering over a puppy gate whenever I need to use the bathroom that I share with the ‘meezers. Finally after that I went to bed for a four-hour nap.
I’m back at it now, with several more hours of client work to follow this Kaddish-posting catch-up work.
About that: if you’ve wondered why the daily kaddish isn’t always getting posted daily, here’s the deal. My life is so freaking chaotic right now I just can’t do it all. Between freelancing, divorce, writing two posters and a paper for upcoming conferences (and co-writing another paper for another conference with Mira is next), getting my household back in order, keeping up with a client’s project that has just hit its peak busyness, and fitting in some semblance of an exercise routine for Kjersten and me both, I’m overwhelmed.
When I was traveling for my client’s project kickoff meetings, I didn’t have reliable daily access to the internet (nor a lot of other things, like an instrument) so I relaxed my rules slightly, and I’m taking advantage of the eased rules now, too: I still make the Kaddish recording every day, but if I can’t get it posted—or can’t deal with one more thing—I allow myself to procrastinate that step. I do, however, backdate the posts so that the dates match when the recordings were made.
I’m trying to get my life to settle down a bit finally, though, and I hope to resume doing some decent writing here again very soon.
One of our rules: this project was never supposed to fall into tyranny. Besides, you’re doing a daily kaddish—just not posting it daily. Unbelievable all that you’re doing.
I’ve fallen behind as well. And for me, family comes first. All last week having my daughter home and back from China, and starting tonight, having my son home for a week. Rare events, and worth my full attention and top priority.
There’s always another kaddish right around the corner. And I still believe that this far into the year, that the practice begins to dissipate of its own accord. Still not sure, but it sounds reasonable.