Skip to content
Menu
beitmalkhut.org beitmalkhut.org
  • contact us
  • yizkor—minyan remembrances
  • tzaddik stories
  • seymour fromer z”l
    • mira z. amiras — san francisco
    • harold lindenthal — nyc and hartford
    • fred rosenbaum, brooklyn and berkeley
    • joe hoffman, jerusalem
  • jewish mysticism, magic, and folklore
    • study group topics and schedule
  • recommended readings
    • death and dying
    • selected articles by mira
beitmalkhut.org beitmalkhut.org

daily kaddish: live with roshi

Posted on 14 March 201123 March 2011 by erin

[powerpress]

A recording made live at Mira’s house the day we met in person for the first time. This is a “live take” release reminiscent of the track Dylan released where the whole band fell apart laughing.

Mira had some questions about the physicality of playing horn, so I suggested that she try something my horn teacher once had me do: sit behind me, rest her chin on my skull, and rest her hands on my rib cage. The chin-to-skull contact would allow her to hear not just through her ears the usual way but also through bone conduction to her inner ear. The hand-to-rib contact would allow her to feel the effort that goes into breathing and blowing.

First, as I was starting to play, Mira’s long-haired German shepherd, Roshi, started licking my face. I persevered for another measure or two until Roshi’s enthusiasm knocked the mouthpiece off my embouchure, producing a bizarre sound and causing both Mira and me to crack up completely.

I started over again from the beginning. This time, when I got to the stopped horn passage, aka “that THING,” I forgot that I was playing my deskant horn and didn’t have the stopping crook in. My deskant horn is a B-flat/high F double horn by Lawson that has an optional low F extension that can be replaced with an A crook or a stopping crook. At the time, I had the low F extension in, so the only way I’d be able to play the stopped passage properly would have been by substituting a lot of funky fingerings and doing some careful tuning with the position of my right hand in the bell.

I didn’t do any of that. I just tried to play the passage as if I were using my regular horn.

The result was a series of increasing out-of-tune notes, until finally I realized what the problem was, stopped playing, swore, told Mira about the problem, and again cracked up.

I resume from that passage, playing it open, and finally finished the piece.

This was the first time Mira and I had shared the daily kaddish live, in person. At the end, I set my horn in my lap, Mira wrapped her arms around my shoulders, and we sat together like that in silence for a long, long time—two full minutes—before one of us spoke. I preserved that two minutes of silence together in the recording, because I don’t think I’ve ever sat inside a pregnant pause as long as that one before, and I don’t know if I ever will again.

A powerful experience.

email mira and erin: kaddish@beitmalkhut.org

  • kaddish in two-part harmony (555)
    • essays (160)
    • guest essays (11)
    • podcasts (388)
    • project news (13)
    • tzaddik stories (31)
  • Seymour Fromer z"l (16)
  • the rebbe's queer daughters (11)
  • a kaddish for the math prof who taught me the most important thing i ever learned about music
    by erin
  • Protected: a sample recording
    by erin
  • a kaddish for the forestry buff who also played horn pretty well
    by erin
  • in the beginning…
    by erin
  • kaddish for anke akevit (2015-20)
    by erin
  • a kaddish for too many suicide victims—but it gets better!
    by erin
  • a kaddish for sigrid syltetøy vang, b. 2006, d. 27 February 2018
    by erin
  • guest kaddish: velvet marquesa flicka storm, 11 august 2005–9 april 2015
    by erin
  • the stones I cannot place
    by mira
  • oh amy, how could you — a kaddish for amy smith
    by mira

anthropology backstage cats Charlotte Adams China choreography collaboration dads death death and dying divorce dogs exhaustion grief japan Jewish identity John Manning kabbalah kaddish life cycle Magnes Museum Malkah Middle East moms mourning murder music musicians musicology parenting piano ritual Sephardi Seymour Fromer Space Place suicide supine text the rebbe's queer daughters tzaddik tzaddik stories University of Iowa women writing yahrtzeit

Copyright

© 2010–24 by Mira Z. Amiras and Erin Vang (beitmalkhut.org). All rights reserved worldwide.

thank you—תודה רבה

Permission to use Lev Kogan's "Kaddish," © 1982 by Israel Brass Woodwind Publications
In-kind support: Global Pragmatica LLC®

meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
©2026 beitmalkhut.org | Powered by Superb Themes