The house is empty.\u00a0I’m not sure what to do
\nand death is so much closer than it was\u2014<\/p>\n
The phone isn’t ringing
\nstarting 5 AM
\nand every ten minutes or so thereafter<\/p>\n
Even the delusions have stopped
\nhaving culminated in one final coup de gras<\/p>\n
She ascended, ascended to Jerusalem.
\nI got calls from what they call the Holy Land
\naffirming her ascent<\/p>\n
“She’s here! She said she’s here\u2014”
\nher friend in Sefat affirmed
\nlong distance
\nfrom the mystics’ town
\nabove the Sea of Galilee<\/p>\n
It’s quiet in the house. It’s palpable her absence.<\/p>\n
But then there’s only stillness\u2014
\n\u2014still here to pay her bills
\n\u2014still find them both a proper stone
\n\u2014a million stills to figure out
\n\u2014recite her tale to those who still don’t know<\/p>\n
I’m alone for the first time in my life
\nwith neither father nor mother
\nnor surrogate of any kind<\/p>\n
It’s way too quiet here.<\/p>\n
Quiet inside and outside\u2014 She the poet of the wordless stare Seductive la Culevra de Aragon My mother’s gone and left me And when the breezes reignite <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The house is empty.\u00a0I’m not sure what to do and death is so much closer than it was\u2014 The phone isn’t ringing starting 5 AM and every ten minutes or so thereafter Even the delusions have stopped having culminated in one final coup de gras She ascended, ascended to Jerusalem. I got calls from what…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[250,216,222],"tags":[255,1007,265,275,446],"class_list":["post-4404","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-essays","category-kaddish-in-two-part-harmony","category-tzaddik-stories","tag-death","tag-fear","tag-kaddish","tag-mothers","tag-mrs-tzaddik"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4404","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4404"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4404\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4409,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4404\/revisions\/4409"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4404"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4404"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4404"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nJust quiet<\/em>.
\nNo demands and no delusions
\nNo glaring fierceness in her words or silence
\nNo words from him of guidance<\/p>\n
\nOur Lady of Severity
\nLest you forget
\nThe Holocaust\u2014<\/p>\n
\nLa grande dame de Calle Sefardiyah
\nLa reina in her castle
\nVilla Narcissus
\nit’s really called that
\nreally really called that
\nand so is she<\/p>\n
\n\u2014still here to pay the bills
\n\u2014to answer phones
\n\u2014to tell her lover she’s not home
\n\u2014and this time she’s not lying.<\/p>\n
\nAnd sounds return, and breathing
\nI’ll know she’s here,\u00a0I’m not alone\u2014
\njust more afraid of dying<\/p>\n