{"id":4002,"date":"2011-09-12T22:18:57","date_gmt":"2011-09-13T05:18:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/216.92.17.21\/?p=4002"},"modified":"2011-09-12T22:19:08","modified_gmt":"2011-09-13T05:19:08","slug":"daily-kaddish-bee","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/?p=4002","title":{"rendered":"daily kaddish: for a bee"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[powerpress]<\/p>\n<p>Just as we were finishing dessert\u2014baklava and sugary mint tea\u2014I felt it. Something was poking my thumb. It felt sort of like a needle was going into my thumb, and as I absentmindedly started to brush it away and look to see what it was, that needle was suddenly a 5000\u02daF needle. A fat, furry, bee\/wasp\/hornet-looking thing was the culprit. I flinched and swatted it away just as the temperature reached its peak.<\/p>\n<p>Then I realized that the last time I was stung by a bee\/wasp\/hornet-looking thing, I was five, and it was somebody else&#8217;s problem to figure out what to do about it. Mom knew that a baking soda paste was the ticket, but that was eons ago; is it still the right thing to do? And do you really interrupt your business trip to go find a grocery store to buy baking soda to make a paste to put on your thumb, or do you just tough it out?<\/p>\n<p>I asked her. She&#8217;s a mom, she must know, right? She said, &#8220;I think it&#8217;s ice. I&#8217;ll go ask them for some ice.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Ice? Really? It&#8217;s not baking soda or mud or something like that?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>My pain was temporarily replaced by the eerie feeling of needing my mom to tell me what to do. She said she&#8217;d recently used ice with her little boy, and it seemed to work, but she&#8217;d also heard about the baking soda. Neither of us knew whether that&#8217;s actually helpful or just one of those ridiculous myths that survive in the face of all reason.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s when she said it.\u00a0&#8220;Wait! We have smartphones! This is a problem we don&#8217;t need to have!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>We both googled. It <em>is<\/em> ice nowadays\u2014and stinger removal, and perhaps hydrocortisone ointment, and probably Benadryl.<\/p>\n<p>Stinger removal?! Yikes! I could barely see anything; how am I supposed to remove that? One site said scraping it out with a credit card was ideal (but didn&#8217;t say how that was supposed to work or why it is superior), so I did my best, but no dice. I&#8217;d need a needle and tweezers.<\/p>\n<p>Do you really interrupt a business trip to find a drugstore to find a needle and tweezers and Benadryl, or do you just tough it out?<\/p>\n<p>She paid the bill while I contemplated the harsh and attention-grabbing return of pain. The burning was back, and the rest of my hand and now arm was starting to feel numb. I consulted the smartphone again to find a drugstore along my route.<\/p>\n<p>Once there, I purchased the strangest assemblage of emergency supplies yet for a business trip: toothpaste (to replace the tube the TSA confiscated this morning), needles (to dig out the stinger), thread (to go with the needles, since I lost my sewing kit in the divorce), tweezers (to grab the stinger), Benadryl topical gel for the sting, and Benadryl capsules for the possible systemic effects.<\/p>\n<p>Back in the car, I performed minor surgery, smeared some Benadryl gel on the site,\u00a0washed a couple Benadryl capsules down with what remained of my morning coffee, and then carried on with my schedule for the day.<\/p>\n<p>Several meetings later, I&#8217;m finally settled in for the night, so I googled some more.<\/p>\n<p>The baking soda thing is real. Another suggestion is a paste of meat tenderizer. Just in case you bring baking soda or meat tenderizer along when you travel.<\/p>\n<p>Looks like today&#8217;s bee\/wasp\/hornet-looking thing was indeed a bee. Too fat and furry for the other possibilities. Bees have barbed stingers that stay behind when the insect lifts off, and losing their stingers does indeed kill them. That was <em>not<\/em> just some story our moms told us to make us feel better\u2014you know, you&#8217;re in pain today, but that bee is <em>dead<\/em> now, so you win!\u2014it&#8217;s actually true.<\/p>\n<p>A kaddish, therefore, for the bee that got my business trip off to a weird start.<\/p>\n<p>Oh, and I&#8217;m fine, thanks. A tiny bit swollen, a tiny bit of numbness here and achiness there, but no drama, no anaphylactic shock, no ER, no throat-clutching\u2014just a weird receipt for my taxes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A kaddish for the bee that got my business trip off to a weird start. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[250,216,253],"tags":[839,835,841,836,840,838,790,837],"class_list":["post-4002","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-essays","category-kaddish-in-two-part-harmony","category-podcasts","tag-baking-soda","tag-bees","tag-benadryl","tag-hornets","tag-ice","tag-stings","tag-wasps","tag-yelloww-jackets"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4002","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4002"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4002\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4005,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4002\/revisions\/4005"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4002"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4002"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4002"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}