I mean, it’s not really chauvinistic to admit when something is without question and beyond doubt just the very best, right? This is something that can be tested empirically. \u00a0Blind taste test, right?<\/p>\n
Well, actually not. \u00a0There’s the nostalgia factor. \u00a0 People are attached to family traditions, especially with regard to foods, and they become something that cannot be questioned, and of course beyond doubt the very best. \u00a0My daughter-in-law, for example makes something for Thanksgiving that, well, it’s just not Thanksgiving without it: cranberry sauce jello mold. \u00a0Something I’d never in my life heard of, but okay. \u00a0Tradition’s tradition. \u00a0And now in my son’s household, that jello thing will be passed on for generations to come.<\/p>\n
My problem with it? \u00a0Oh nothing. It’s just not Sephardic.<\/p>\n
So. \u00a0Now that’s<\/em> chauvinism.<\/p>\n But this, this is different. \u00a0After all, why should Sephardim complain about Thanksgiving traditions? \u00a0I mean, the country is just teeming with Ashkenazim. \u00a0Don’t mind us, we Sephardim are just the first Jews ever to wash up onto the American shores. \u00a0And build the first synagogue here. \u00a0Rhode Island. \u00a0The Touro synagogue in Newport. \u00a0It’s true. \u00a0You can Google it. Sephardim. \u00a0Not Woody Allen Jews at all. \u00a0We don’t have a sense of humor. \u00a0Not about this.<\/p>\n Not about charoset.<\/p>\n Apples and honey and walnuts, oh my. \u00a0Do you think you could hold the pyramids together with that weak and watery stuff? \u00a0Does it look or taste anything like something that comes from the Middle East, especially from ancient times?<\/p>\n Our charoset reeks of authenticity, she said reeking of more chauvinism. This stuff could probably mortar half the ruins of the ancient world. \u00a0And inebriate more than half their workers.<\/p>\n I make our Sephardi charoset with a bottle of fine Merlot. \u00a0Use the whole bottle if you’re making a lot. At our house we make a lot \u2014 since if any is left over, it gets taken home by almost everyone who isn’t all Pesached out by then.<\/p>\n The best thing to do with charoset is to make a Hillel Sandwich. \u00a0Although my guess is that it’s really a Shammai Sandwich, and that Shammai got shafted again for credit. \u00a0Intellectual property issue \u2014 Hillel got the patent.<\/p>\n With one bite, the Hillel Sandwich gives you everything you want to know about Pesach. \u00a0The Sandwich consists of matzah, maror, and charoset. \u00a0Right there, you’ve got it \u2014 the ‘bread of affliction’ (as it is known) made in haste and therefore unyeasted as our ancestors were fleeing Mubarak’s Egypt. \u00a0Maror (see the previous post), which gives you the whole eye-watering, punch in the gut bitterness of (either or both) freedom and bondage. \u00a0And charoset \u2014 the binding mortar, and sweetness of labor of our ancient ancestors.<\/p>\n Yes, I said the sweetness of labor \u2014 not the sweetness of liberty. \u00a0My grandpa was a union organizer in the 1930s. \u00a0He was very clear on this point.<\/p>\n Use large, soft, meaty medjoul dates (American spelling: medjool). \u00a0Then think about this: You’re using the fruit of the Tree of Life itself. \u00a0To tell the truth, I don’t think we can claim credit for the Tree of Life. \u00a0The Akkadians had it first. \u00a0And at Knossos on Crete, seals found there make it clear that the real<\/em> Tree of Life was a cactus, brought down from the heavens by the Vegetation Goddess (you know \u2014 the one with a cat sitting on her head). \u00a0My vote’s with the Akkadians.<\/p>\n Be that as it may, the medjouls are just plain the yummiest. \u00a0And also the easiest to work with.<\/p>\n Take a sharp knife. \u00a0Slit each date. \u00a0Remove the pit and the little knobby thing at the end. \u00a0Buying already pitted dates means you’re lazy and would not have survived a day as a laborer in Ancient Egypt. \u00a0And that you’re not in touch with the spirit of suffering in order to feel your liberation.<\/p>\n Big glass bowl. \u00a0Masher.<\/p>\n Again, please please don’t use a machine to do your labor.<\/p>\n A.D. Gordon created an entire religious tradition out of appreciation of our own physical labor. \u00a0\u05d3\u05d9\u05df \u05d4\u05e2\u05d1\u05d5\u05d3\u05d4 \u00a0Din ha-avodah<\/em>. \u00a0Michael Pollan would certainly agree, if you’ve read his recent Food Rules<\/em>. \u00a0More labor is a good thing. \u00a0We Americans need it.<\/p>\n Start mashing. \u00a0By hand. \u00a0It’s hard. \u00a0Do it anyway.<\/p>\n A.D. Gordon was just a clerk until his feet touched the soil of the Holy Land. \u00a0He reached down and picked up a handful of soil \u2014 and had an epiphany. \u00a0You couldn’t just say things like ‘Next year in Jerusalem’ as if it were about architecture and holy places that we’ve built. \u00a0The holiness is in the soil itself. \u00a0The most spiritual connection we could have to the ‘Holy Land’ \u2014 is to focus on the land itself. \u00a0Pick up a spade, and get to work. \u00a0Grow something. \u00a0Get that dirt under your nails. \u00a0Renew the land and watch what it can do \u2014<\/p>\n Add some wine. \u00a0Keep mashing. \u00a0Don’t touch those walnuts!<\/p>\n I use pecans, to tell the truth. \u00a0I’m allergic to walnuts. \u00a0Lots of people are. \u00a0Walnuts can make the edges of your tongue burn. \u00a0Not a thrill. \u00a0Pecans \u2014 no problem.<\/p>\n Add more wine. \u00a0Mix. \u00a0You need enough wine until your charoset-to-be moves easily around the bowl when you use your wooden spoon. \u00a0Yah. \u00a0Go switch spoons.<\/p>\n It should not be liquid! \u00a0If you do that, you’re no better than the Ashkenazim making applesauce.<\/p>\n Take a hammer \u2014 or a wooden rolling pin \u2014 and bang on your (shelled) walnuts or pecans (yes, shell them yourself) \u00a0as they sit tidily tucked into a kitchen towel. \u00a0Keep banging. \u00a0It’s good for you. \u00a0Besides, who wants packaged nut-pieces all uniform and boring to the tongue? \u00a0Texture matters. \u00a0The problem with adding the nuts too soon is that they start to break down and get yucky. \u00a0I learned this one year when my mother-in-law tossed in the pecans right at the beginning of the process. \u00a0The results were embarrassing. \u00a0I did not have a meltdown. \u00a0I swear.<\/p>\n Gently. \u00a0Yes, gently, fold in the pecans. \u00a0Suddenly your charoset is the right consistency.<\/p>\n If you’ve made enough, then in addition to what goes on your seder plate (you’ll need at least double your usual amount, since it disappears fast) \u2014 should go into little jars for people to take home with them. \u00a0If you make some early, mail some jars to your kids in Brooklyn if they didn’t make their own Sephardi charoset on time.<\/p>\n This is not my mother’s charoset. \u00a0She throws everything at it. \u00a0Figs, currents, sometimes honey. \u00a0Sometimes cinammon \u2014 the works. \u00a0My research shows me that more is less. \u00a0A meditative purity counts.<\/p>\n As with yaprakas<\/em> (Sephardi stuffed grape leaves \u2014 of course, the very best, though possibly ties with Armenian dolmas), I’ve gotten my charoset down to a Zen koan. \u00a0Only three ingredients, carefully combined. \u00a0An artful \u00a0meditation in the religion of labor.<\/p>\n Where does the hashisha candy come in? \u00a0In regions where wine is haram<\/em>, substituting hashish will give your charoset a nice kick. \u00a0 Good idea to make hashisha candy with some honey, so it’s not too dry. \u00a0Not too much. \u00a0Roll little balls of your mixture. \u00a0Pit’om<\/em>! \u00a0Transubstantiation: \u00a0you’ve got yourself an entheogen. \u00a0(I’m not recommending hashisha candy, by the way, I think it’s overkill. \u00a0This is just informational. \u00a0You should know that it’s a cousin).<\/p>\n Either way, Sephardi charoset is a powerful mixture. \u00a0Mix it with Ashkenazi maror for a syncretic kick, place them together on your piece of matzah. \u00a0One Hillel Sandwich, there you are.<\/p>\n One bite \u2014 and there it is, the essence of Pesach. \u00a0The Tree of LIfe. \u00a0The Religion of Labor. \u00a0Altered States…<\/p>\n Don’t let anyone drive home.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I mean, it’s not really chauvinistic to admit when something is without question and beyond doubt just the very best, right? This is something that can be tested empirically. \u00a0Blind taste test, right? Well, actually not. \u00a0There’s the nostalgia factor. \u00a0 People are attached to family traditions, especially with regard to foods, and they become…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[250],"tags":[383,380,384,382,381,48,377,379,385],"class_list":["post-2872","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-essays","tag-a-d-gordon","tag-charoset","tag-din-ha-avodah","tag-hashisha-candy","tag-hillel-sandwich","tag-jewish-identity","tag-pesach","tag-sephardi","tag-tree-of-life"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2872","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2872"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2872\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2897,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2872\/revisions\/2897"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2872"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2872"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2872"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}