I don’t believe any of this stuff, right? \u00a0So how come I can see it all so clearly?<\/p>\n
Maybe I’ve just got no imagination at all. \u00a0I can see the house vividly. \u00a0Every detail, from ceilings to secret balconies and sunbathing decks. \u00a0The place needs a major paint job. \u00a0You’d think my next lifetime would at least have fresh paint already. \u00a0But no. \u00a0Maybe next lifetime rules are just being kind. \u00a0Knowing that I love painting walls with layers and layers of glaze. \u00a0But this one needs some major work on the ceiling. \u00a0I hate painting ceilings. \u00a0Maybe I can call someone to help? Can you do that?<\/p>\n
You’d think I’d manage a fully prepped next lifetime. \u00a0But no.<\/p>\n
A student came in yesterday. \u00a0Great combination: \u00a0double major in anthropology and comparative religious studies. \u00a0She’s been working at the Rosicrucian Museum since she was sixteen.<\/p>\n
So when I told her how I wanted to paint my (next lifetime) ceiling, she completely agreed: \u00a0the ancient Egyptian goddess Nuit holding up the night sky. \u00a0She said that on really hot days they used to go into the vault where Nuit presides, looking down at them from the ceiling. And they’d stay down there under her cool dark skies and stars during their breaks. \u00a0A nice Office Hours bonding moment.<\/p>\n
The kitchen needs redoing in my next-lifetime house. \u00a0I mean, c’mon. \u00a0That is so<\/em> not fair. \u00a0Haven’t I done enough restoration for one lifetime? \u00a0Oh. \u00a0Right. \u00a0This is next time. \u00a0I haven’t filled my quota on next time. \u00a0It’s not a bummer, really. \u00a0They just better give me a really good job to be able to afford my next lifetime.<\/p>\n ‘They<\/em>.’<\/p>\n The ‘they’ I don’t believe in.<\/p>\n Which goes with the ‘next lifetime<\/em>‘ I don’t believe in either.<\/p>\n The vision keeps going. \u00a0I can see my partner vividly as well. \u00a0I’m in shock really. \u00a0I get that<\/em>? \u00a0I mean, what did I do to deserve such, such \u2014 \u00a0I begin to stutter…<\/p>\n And that’s where morality kicks into this afterlife business. “What did I do to deserve<\/em>” language \u2014 \u00a0already plunks us down into some kind of good and evil universe where somebody’s doling out the goodies and the pain. \u00a0In my little vision, I’m clearly on the goody goody side of things.<\/p>\n Is that because I abstained from so much in this<\/em> life and came to recognize the things I might atone for (had I been one of those people who atones). \u00a0Or maybe all that abstinence was my atonement?<\/p>\n Okay. \u00a0Scratch that. \u00a0I don’t know what to do with the atonement stuff.<\/p>\n Or. \u00a0Is it because I learned to have so much fun<\/em> in this life \u2014 and that took a hell of a lot of work to learn. \u00a0But this too still implies a sense of deserving one fate over another.<\/p>\n We invent these other lives out of the depth of our suffering, I think. \u00a0We weave them out of our pain and grief.<\/p>\n I beat my chest and do the Woe<\/em> thing (if I were that kind of person). \u00a0We feel we must get something<\/em>, after all we’ve gone through.<\/p>\n That’s why my particular vision doesn’t make any sense to me. \u00a0I think I’ve got it pretty good. \u00a0And okay, yes, I’ve worked hard for this life that I am living. \u00a0I don’t think I deserve a ‘Pass Go’ second (third? umpteenth?) go at it. \u00a0The thing I picture looks like Paradise to me. \u00a0But I would not actively change anything to make it happen now. \u00a0I’m not sure why not.<\/p>\n The now is just too damned good. \u00a0Even with the bad stuff.<\/p>\n And I worry about being greedy in this regard. \u00a0“C’mon, lifetime, let’s get on with it. \u00a0I want that next one \u2014 now<\/em>.”<\/p>\n I know better than that. \u00a0My beautiful vision would disappear in a flash. \u00a0To be replaced by (yes, this is how it got invented) a version of hellfire that I might actually (yes, here’s that word again) deserve.<\/p>\n So. \u00a0I’m trying to figure it out. \u00a0Can I live in both lifetimes at the same time? \u00a0Is there fine print my old eyes just can’t read? More greed. \u00a0More self-reprobation. \u00a0More lack of imagination.<\/p>\n I’m feeling greedy. \u00a0It’s the ‘hand in the bush’ problem. \u00a0Gotta let go of something or it all disappears.<\/p>\n Or maybe it’s not that at all. \u00a0Maybe we humans have consciousness so that we can<\/em> imagine multiple ways of being. \u00a0And maybe \u00a0that is<\/em> the way we live out our dreams. \u00a0I believe that this-is-it, and that this-is-all-we-get. \u00a0So maybe there’s nothing wrong with envisioning that other lifetime in the world to come, and living this one to the fullest as well. \u00a0And maybe I can be mature and rational about it all, and just appreciate Jung, or something.<\/p>\n But I reach out my hand \u2014 and I can almost touch that other lifetime. \u00a0It is so close that my heart aches. \u00a0It takes my breath away. \u00a0But if I reach too far, I let go this life entirely \u2014<\/p>\n I reach \u2014<\/p>\n I pull back and restrain myself somehow.<\/p>\n Maybe this is the gift of getting older. \u00a0Maybe it’s the gift of prescience or some other \u00a0woo-woo thing that I can’t stand. Maybe it’s too many drugs in the ’60s. \u00a0Too much kabbalistic study. \u00a0Too little ditch digging for solid grounding. \u00a0But the one thing I do know is that it’s not my imagination. \u00a0It’s too close, and too far, and too detailed \u2014 and I’m not the only one who can see it.<\/p>\n Shared visions. \u00a0They always were my favorites, anyway.<\/p>\n And there \u2014 right there <\/em>\u2014 when we share that vision, then we have a name for it. \u00a0We might not be believers. \u00a0But we build ourselves a place that we can pray.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I don’t believe any of this stuff, right? \u00a0So how come I can see it all so clearly? Maybe I’ve just got no imagination at all. \u00a0I can see the house vividly. \u00a0Every detail, from ceilings to secret balconies and sunbathing decks. \u00a0The place needs a major paint job. \u00a0You’d think my next lifetime would…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[250],"tags":[374,18,178,375,77,61,376],"class_list":["post-2852","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-essays","tag-afterlife","tag-life","tag-life-cycle","tag-metaphysics","tag-paradise","tag-science-and-religion","tag-shared-visions"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2852","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2852"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2852\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3070,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2852\/revisions\/3070"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2852"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2852"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2852"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}