Quite a number of people have told me how moved they were by the words I spoke at the my father’s funeral. \u00a0Some asked for copies of what I said. \u00a0Still others asked to hear those words for the first time when they read reference to it in an obit somewhere. \u00a0I don’t think I said anything that anyone didn’t already know. \u00a0My father, more than anything else, was knowable (though not ‘transparent’). \u00a0He had very few secrets.<\/p>\n
So. \u00a0When I wrote my piece, all I knew was that I wanted it to be to the point. \u00a0It’s just too easy to get longwinded about all of his accomplishments. \u00a0People do that a lot. \u00a0But that’s not my job. \u00a0I just wanted to convey the gestalt of Seymour Fromer. \u00a0From a daughter’s perspective. \u00a0He liked it simple. \u00a0I wanted to give him simple. He was all for just giving someone what he called ‘a good send off.’ \u00a0I wanted to give him that.<\/p>\n
Both my parents were under hospice care at the same time, in different rooms of my mother’s house, next door to the museum. \u00a0The same hospice workers would go from one to the other. \u00a0It wasn’t really clear who might outlive whom at that point. \u00a0My mother’s fall had left her with a massive brain injury that kept her inside some netherworld that was hard to penetrate. \u00a0She did not know that my dad was in the next room. \u00a0She only knew that he wasn’t by her side. \u00a0Too weak to sit up, too injured to comprehend, when my father died there was no chance of her being at the funeral.<\/p>\n
But on the day of the funeral, I needed to somehow tell my mom that my dad had died. \u00a0And a strange thing happened. \u00a0Suddenly, she woke up out of her inaccessible state. \u00a0Her eyes became focused. \u00a0She was alert. \u00a0Briefly.<\/p>\n
People flew out and helped me. \u00a0There was an outpouring of the Jewish community to be there for my father’s ‘good send off.’ \u00a0It seemed as if everyone was there except my mom.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And so that’s how I began my words:<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
“My mom should be here,” I said.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When I told her about my dad, she told me to pick up the phone.\u00a0 She told me every single person to call.\u00a0\u00a0 \u2026 \u00a0\u00a0and here you are, <\/em>I said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n My dad had a way of making every single person he met feel important.\u00a0 Except himself.\u00a0 He refused to see the \u2018down\u2019 side, and justified his view thus:<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou have no idea of the good someone will bring to the world, or who they will touch, or influence, or change for the better.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He also saw the value of every single object he encountered (not just Judaica!).\u00a0 Any piece of junk became reason to investigate \u2014 and he did just that, investigate, whether it was an old button, or a silver spoon or a ripped old piece of cloth, he saw\u00a0history<\/em> unfolding.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He knew the\u00a0stories<\/em> of things.\u00a0 He took me on his adventures.\u00a0 And later, I took him on mine.\u00a0 We were both drawn to North Africa.\u00a0 But\u00a0he’s<\/em> the one with all the Berber jewelry, not me!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He taught me that everyone should collect something.\u00a0\u00a0Anything<\/em>, it didn\u2019t matter.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And I responded, well, okay, brass trays then, because they\u2019re useful and they don\u2019t break.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n But that wasn\u2019t enough, he said.\u00a0 He\u00a0taught me that everyone should\u00a0specialize<\/em>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And I said, okay fine, then it should be Mamluk Revival.\u00a0 And so he brought me Mamluk Revival.\u00a0 For after all, it was\u00a0he<\/em> the real collector.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And yet, he was also the most unmaterialistic collector possible:\u00a0 He felt no attachment to the object, really.\u00a0 His attachment is to the history, the mystery \u2014 the\u00a0story<\/em>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And when all the crumbling books and bits of memorabilia did not fit into our spic and span house, he brought it all to his office at the Federation and it filled one glass case and a couple bookcases.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And when it all outgrew that one glass case, my mom and dad and I filled a few rooms above the Parkway Theatre, and\u00a0pit\u2019om<\/em>, there was a\u00a0museum<\/em>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And when it outgrew those shabby rooms, there was Russell Street, and the Judah L. Magnes Museum came to have a real home. \u00a0It was a museum with a strong sense of my father’s vision \u2014rescued fragments of history \u2014 not just objects \u2014 and not for my dad alone, but for all of us.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n My dad\u2019s lesson is pretty simple:<\/p>\n Collect.<\/p>\n Specialize.<\/p>\n Do the research.<\/p>\n Have Vision.<\/p>\n And share the legacy.<\/p>\n For you have no idea of the good it will bring, who it will touch, or influence, or change for the better.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And that’s really all I said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" eulogy for my father, seymour fromer z”l 1922 \u2013 2009 congregation beth el, berkeley, ca october 27, 2009 Quite a number of people have told me how moved they were by the words I spoke at the my father’s funeral. \u00a0Some asked for copies of what I said. \u00a0Still others asked to hear those words…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"parent":1173,"menu_order":1,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-2617","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2617","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2617"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2617\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3302,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2617\/revisions\/3302"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1173"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/beitmalkhut.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2617"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}