Tag Archives: life cycle

a kaddish for those who choose their ends

They offed themselves. Both of them, together. She’s pissed, and devastated, and who wouldn’t be? But I can’t help admiring their decision, even as I share her grief and anger. Continue reading

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reasons for staying alive

We were signing papers. Getting them notarized. It was a jocular moment. I was trying hard to keep it that way. I was giving him complete authority to take over my affairs should my brain start to melt and/or body … Continue reading

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the paintbrush

“What you really want is closure,” he said. I had called him knowing I was in peril. I asked him what he thought I should feel. He’s pretty good at feeling stuff. But I’m not so sure he’s right. I’m not … Continue reading

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what is it about cemeteries?

Sometimes just going out to lunch or dinner with an ex isn’t just the pleasant experience you think it’s gonna be. We went to one of the places we usually go to. We ordered items congruent with who we each … Continue reading

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epitaph for a tzaddik

New Orleans. With the voudon priest. Again. He gives me a reading. And one of the things he says is: “Don’t go to the cemetery. He’s not there. Go to the place where he still resides. The place where he … Continue reading

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yahrtzeit for the tzaddik

Do I still get to cry? The first year ends, and I’ve been living the dying over and over. Actually, it all started two years ago with her. And I just couldn’t get over it, and then, wham — the … Continue reading

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zipping through the life cycle — a sufi parable

Nothing like your firstborn’s wedding to put the reality principle front and center, life cycle-wise. Ten seconds ago I was giving birth. Ten seconds from now I’ll be under a pile of dirt, or small particles blowing in the wind. … Continue reading

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